Later on in the day I joined my friend Pamela in the gym and got a great workout. The gym facilities at Columbia are great and they have a wide range of machines and games to work out with. I chose the elliptical and completed a two mile run and some weight training. I felt so refreshed after my run and I'm going to keep on going to the gym everyday from now on because the dining hall food isn't very healthy.
When I returned to my dorm I just felt like something was wrong. I didn't want to disturb my other roommates so I sat in the lounge and just contemplated how I was feeling. I realized a lot of things that I think about in the day but I just try to ignore. I really miss my grandfather, Henry Ramsey, and ever since I started having a greater interest in history and in law I wish I could go back and speak to him. There are so many questions I would ask him about being a judge and what it meant for him to face so much adversity and discrimination on his way to success. I honestly feel very left out sometimes, being the only black person in my classes and trying to find a way to speak up. Although I ignore it, sometimes I feel as if people ignore my presence or discredit what I say just because of my appearance. I know that this is just part of being a minority, but it catches up to me and I get lost in it. Among missing my grandfather, I also realized that there have been so many relationships that I had a year ago with people that just didn't work out. I have lost so many people and things that are important to me this year but I am starting to understand that this isn't a bad thing. It has made me more open and willing to challenge myself and seek out new experiences as people. I know that people will come in and out of my life now, and that the only people I will have a stable relationship with for the rest of my life are myself and God. My sister and I are closer than ever as well and she helped shed light on the issue, hence the title of this blog "Don't Lose Those Connections," which is her direct quote. My roommate also comforted me and gave me a big, warm, hug :) So to end this blog, as cheesy as it may sound, if you see someone whose down or if you're feeling down yourself, try to reach out to someone, it makes all the difference in the world. Toodles!
|Don't get caught in the crowd|